


Show, Don't Tell

by Gwenhwyfar1984



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 21:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7862587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwenhwyfar1984/pseuds/Gwenhwyfar1984
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. During a visit from Jack Harkness, River Song confesses that she does not believe the Doctor loves her. Jack challenges her to prove it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Doctor Who is the property of the British Broadcasting Company and other companies that I am in no way a part of or connected to. In other words, I Do Not Own.
> 
> Thank you to TanyaReed for being both my writing buddy and beta reader!

River was in the kitchen rummaging through the available food when she heard a loud knock on the door. It was probably one of the neighbors asking for the Doctor’s help, but she was bored so she went to answer it.

The Doctor got there first. When he opened the door River was surprised to find Captain Jack Harkness on the other side. 

“Doctor!” Jack greeted and swept the Doctor into a hug. River was amused because it was a rather tame greeting for Jack.

The Doctor awkwardly pulled out of the hug and took step back. “Jack.”

“Jack,” River quietly called. She leaned against the door to the living room, her arms crossed, and a small smile on her face.

Jack turned to her, his eyebrows raised. “River Song?” He laughed and almost ran to her. He pulled her into a hug and tried to kiss her, but she turned her head at the last moment. “I haven’t seen you since—“

“—since you ditched me to go off with those twins,” River admonished, playfully smacking his chest.

“Aw come on. Do you really blame me? They were—“

“So, you two know each other then?” the Doctor interrupted. He looked curious, but River could tell he was a little upset. River knew that deep down he still had issues with Jack being a fixed point in time.

“Very well.” Jack smiled.

“Not that well,” River added, making it clear that she and Jack had never slept together.

“Not for lack of trying on my part.”

River smirked. “We found that we had a lot in common and have been friends ever since.”

“Except you disappeared after graduation.”

River shrugged. Her kidnapping by Kovarian still stung a bit, but it wasn’t something she wanted to tell Jack about. “Places to go, people to kill, prison terms to serve.”

“That I have to know about. But first,” he looked at the Doctor, “where is this wife you told me about?”

River tapped him on the chest and then waved her fingers at him. Jack looked between her and the Doctor a few times and then let go of River. “Sorry. How did that happen?”

River gestured for him to sit. “Long story involving changing a fixed point in time and my killing him.”

“I got better,” the Doctor added.

 

 

“What have you two been up to?” Jack glanced at the shelf next to him. “Hey, is that my sonic blaster?”

“No, it’s mine,” River countered and took it off the shelf. While their stay on Darillium had been violence free for the most part, she felt better with her weapon nearby. At first she had wanted to carry it, but the Doctor had talked her into keeping it near the door.

He didn’t know she also had another weapon hidden near the back do and a third in their bedroom.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s mine. The handle changed color, but I remember leaving it in the TARDIS.”

“I found it in the TARDIS,” she explained, looking towards the Doctor.

“Well, you did leave it there…okay, I left with it when I left you. But I was really busy at the time, what with the regenerating. And I kind of forgot about it when I saw you again and you didn’t mention it, so River must have taken it without my knowing so it is not my fault,” the Doctor explained, moving a little closer to River.

“So it is mine.” Jack reached for the weapon.

River held it out of reach. “What is the old Earth saying? Finders keepers?”

He stood. “Come on now, give it back.”

She liked that blaster and wasn’t about to give it up. “Make me,” she said, tilting her head and grinning.

Jack gave a smug grin. “Oh, you know I will.”

“Sweetie, you don’t mind if—“ she started and glanced at her husband. He was looking back and forth between her and Jack in horror. “Oh, you know it’s all in fun.” 

 “I would never touch her, I promise. I hate cheaters.”

“You’re him, and he’s you! I married a female Jack Harkness,” the Doctor exclaimed, leaving the living room.

“Do you know what he’s talking about?”

“No idea.” She shrugged.

 

 

She led Jack into the kitchen and reached into a high cabinet. “I have to hide it because he doesn’t approve, but here.” She handed him a bottle. “Strongest I could find here.”

Jack took a drink. “That’s not very strong.”

River sighed. “I know. The bars have better stuff, but I’m not in the mood for a trip.”

“Nah, it’s fine.”

The Doctor appeared in the doorway pulling on his jacket. “I’m going next door to help with their heater.” He looked back and forth between River and Jack. “Please behave.”

River approached him and fixed his tie. “But, Sweetie, I know how much you like it when I’m naughty.”

He took her hands and grinned. “Yes, well—“

Behind them, Jack chuckled. The Doctor reddened and let go as though she were burning him. He practically ran out the front door.

“Never thought I’d see the day. I don’t know how many times I flirted with him. Back when he had the leather jacket?”

“Two regenerations ago,” River clarified.

“Yeah. Even kissed him once. He didn’t protest, but nothing. Absolutely nothing. How’d you do it?”

“That’s a long story.”

River led him into the backyard. Most of it was taken up by the TARDIS, but there was a nice garden and some chairs. The flowers were genetically enhanced to bloom in the darkness, and they gave off a slight, pleasant scent. It was one of River’s favourite places.

“You were saying?” Jack started. “You and the Doctor. How did you manage that?”

“It’s a long story. Let’s just say it involves another reality and my changing a fixed point in time.”

Jack whistled. “Wow.”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “Our kiss restored reality.”

They sat down in some chairs. “Another reality? One that doesn’t exist anymore, you mean?”

“Right.”

“But you consider yourselves married? Here?” She nodded. “Wow. That is love.”

River didn’t reply for a moment. “I love him with everything that I am.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Jack asked quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“The way you just said that was so sad. There’s nothing wrong with loving your husband, River. That’s kinda the point.”

River didn’t reply. Jack had always been perceptive. It probably came from living as long as he had.

She couldn’t tell him the truth. Could she? She had never told anybody else. Not even her mother. Barely even herself.

Yet, Jack was her best friend. He’d always known how to keep a secret.

“The problem is that he doesn’t love me back,” she said.

“What?”

“I don’t think that he can love anybody. He’s lost so much that he doesn’t let anybody that close. I shouldn’t expect him to. I understand. I do. But it hurts. It hurts so much,” she confessed, tears in her eyes.

“That is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard.”

River gasped. “What?”

“He doesn’t love you? Come on. What gave you that idea?”

“I just know.”

“Not good enough. Come on. Prove it.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

He settled back in the chair. “Tell me about your relationship. Give me evidence. Convince me.”

“Where do I start?”

“The beginning, of course.”

“I’ve been married over 100 years.”

“The highlights then.”

River took a deep breath and began.


	2. Chapter 2

When River stepped out of Stormcage Containment Facility a free woman, she had not expected to find the TARDIS waiting. Not wanting to make a scene, she unhurriedly walked up to the doors and stepped inside.

The Doctor greeted her with a grin and open arms. “River. How does it feel to be free?”

She wanted to make a joke that it wasn't that different. After all, she had escaped numerous times. But she couldn't. “It feels wonderful, Sweetie.”

“I have a gift for you,” he told her with a grin.

River pulled out her diary. “We need to figure out where we are.”

He pulled out his own. “All right.”

“Have we done the Byzantium?”

He smiled. ”A long time ago.”

She peered at him. “You do seem older. It was a month ago for me though.”

“I just did Lake Silencio. And Area 52.”

River gasped. This was new for her. “Then you know everything? You know who I am?”

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I do, Wife. Now, about your gift…”

 

 

“Open your eyes,” the Doctor exclaimed after guiding River through the TARDIS.

River did and saw that she was in a bedroom. It was decorated in shades of yellow and white. “What's this?”

“Your room. I thought you might like to have a place in the TARDIS that you can stay in if you want.”

“You made me a bedroom?”

“Of course! You need more sleep than I do, and now we can go on more adventures.” He was practically bouncing with happiness.

River slowly made her way around the room, examining the fluffiness of the bed--did it really have to be on such a high platform that you needed stairs to reach it?--the size of the dressing table, the bookshelf, and the chair. “Thank you, Sweetie. There's just one tiny problem. It's not my room.”

“You don't like it? Well, you know that anything can be changed--” He broke off when she approached him and began to tug off his coat. “River, what are you doing?”

She didn't answer. With single-minded determination she removed his jacket, bowtie, and suspenders. He watched her in shock as she laid them around the room.

“It's our room,” she clarified.

“If you insist.” He cleared his throat. “So, where do you want to go? All of time and space is open to you legally.”

Logically, she should think about her future. She needed a job, a home. But she had never been extremely logical. “Take me someplace beautiful.”

 

 

The nebula was breathtaking. They had opened both doors of the TARDIS and were sitting]in the doorway.

“This is perfect.”

There hadn't been much beauty in Stormcage. The planet was locked in a perpetual rainstorm. Maybe she would have then go to a sunny place next.

“I'm glad.” He paused. “What do you see?”

“What do you mean?” He gestured out the doors. “Dust, gasses, proto--”

“No, what do you see beyond that?”

She hesitated for a moment. “I see...potential. Someday all of this will be stars and planets and people…births, lives, wars, celebrations, and death. But right now it's just potential. It's beautiful. Thank you, Doctor.”

“Thank you.” He paused. “They actually become a very violent grouping of planets. I stopped three wars.” River felt disappointed but tried not to show it. “Except...for one planet. The furthest from what will be the sun. They will be peaceful. They will worship intelligence. Beauty. Their planet will be so small it will not be worth invading, so they thrive.”

“Can we go there?”

“Oh, yes! You'd love their new year's festival.”

 

He droned on about the festivals and how they evolved over time. River leaned against him and listened while watching the nebula. After a while she started yawning.

“I forget how humany you are,” he said.

“Yes, well, you've normally returned me to my cell around now.”

“Now you have a different room to go to.”

“Indeed.” She stood and stretched. “I think I'll go try it out now. See you soon?”

He nodded and she headed for their new room.

 

 

o.O.o

“By 'see you soon',]you meant a little ‘I got outta prison’ celebration.” Jack grinned.

“Exactly. You get it. A delayed honeymoon, too. After all, I did go to prison the same day I got married.”

o.O.o

 

 

River took a nice hot shower and dressed in a sophisticated yet sexy nightgown. Her hair she left loose and natural, the way she knew he liked. Humming to herself she climbed into the incredibly soft bed and waited for her husband.

Before this, they had only kissed, mainly because he hadn't known they were married. Now, however, they were finally at the same point in their timelines.

She planned to enjoy it.

 

So she waited. And waited. And waited.

For a little while she fell asleep only to wake up and find the other half of the bed undisturbed. In that moment she realized that he had never intended to join her in bed.

 

 

o.O.o

“No! No way! He had you in bed and looking amazing.” She nodded in agreement. “And he does nothing?”

“He didn't do nothing. Apparently he worked on the engines.”

Jack got up and paced. “I can't believe it.”

“He didn't join me for over twenty years after that.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was pitch black except for the occasional flash of lightning. In the second of light she could see that she was in her cell in Stormcage. In the distance she heard a rhythmic thud and realised it was the sound of footsteps heading her way. Panic filled her as she went to the hiding spot in her cell where she kept her contraband items.

They weren't there.

Frantically, she searched her cell, using the flashes of light and touch, but she couldn't find her vortex manipulator. She was trapped and the footsteps were getting closer…

 

 

Hands grabbing her was the first thing River was aware of upon waking. She struggled against them and was able to get away. She fell onto the floor and grabbed the weapon she kept hidden in a thigh holster. She had undone the safety and was pointing it at the nearest person before she realised where she was.

Her parent's house. The twenty-first century.

“River! It's okay,” Rory was saying, slowly approaching from her left.                                    

“Dad?” she asked, her voice shaky.

He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and she jumped. He quickly removed it. “You were having a nightmare.”

She looked around and saw that she was in the living room. The Doctor and Amy stood off to the side, and a movie blasted on the television.

“Apparently.”

She set down her weapon and shakily stood. Her skin was lightly coated in sweat, and she felt weak. Her father helped her to sit back on the sofa.

“What happened? One minute you were asleep, the next you're freaking out,” Amy asked.

River ran her hand through her hair. “It was just a nightmare, Mother.”

“Do you often have them?”

“Look at who I am,” she replied and left before they could ask any questions.

 

In the bathroom she splashed cool water on her face. Two childhoods spent being trained to kill. Even though she couldn't actually remember the Silence or Kovarian, there was enough residual memory to create shapeless fears that haunted her. That combined with twenty-five years in prison...yes, she had a lot to have nightmares about.

 

 

Back in the living room her parents were cleaning up. The Doctor was nowhere in sight.

“He left,” Rory told her, seeing her looking around. He sounded disapproving.

“I'm not surprised. He hates weakness.”

“What do you mean?” Amy asked.

“He is the reason that what happened to me did,” River reminded them. “Seeing me have a nightmare reminded him of that fact. I tried to keep it from him but…”

“Don't,” Rory said. “He's your husband.”

“He's the Doctor, and he hates unpleasantness.”

“Then he shouldn't have gotten married.”

“Rory's right. You're his wife, not his keeper. It's not your job to just make him happy. You have to have a life together, and that includes the bad. That's why it's in the vows,” Amy added.

It was a nice thought. Except she had never exchanged vows with her husband.

 

 

o.O.o

“Wait, you never exchanged vows? But you're married, right?” Jack asked.

“We are. But in that timeline we didn't say, 'I Do'. I didn't say much of anything. It was all him.” She smiled bitterly. “Don't worry, we'll get to that.”

o.O.o

 

 

The sound of the TARDIS faded upon River’s waking, and she hurriedly jumped out of bed. This was the first time she had heard it since the Doctor found out about her nightmares. Hopefully, he was here to take her on a date. Or at the very least talk to her.

There wasn’t any sign of it in the backyard. Perhaps he decided to park somewhere else? She went into the living room, but it was dark and empty. The front yard proved to be the same.

Apparently, she had imagined the whole thing.

But…no. She could usually feel when the TARDIS was in the vicinity. It was a barely there, light awareness. Something on the edge of consciousness, and she was sure she had felt it.

A very light scratching noise caught her attention, followed by a…tiny meow? Turning on her living room light she spotted a small basket on her table. A note was attached to the top. The meowing grew more insistent so she opened the lid. A black kitten wearing a tiny blue bowtie jumped into her arms.

“What in the world?” she asked as she caught it and made it secure in her arms. It purred loudly and head butted her neck. “Where did you come from?”

After some difficulty opening the note with one hand, she read it. It was the Doctor’s handwriting.

This is Anderes and she is guaranteed to keep away nightmares.

River set down the note and saw that the box also contained bowls for food, toys, and a fluffy cat bed. Smiling to herself, she took the kitten into her room with her and went back to bed. Anderes curled up next to her and soon both were fast asleep.

 

 

o.O.o

“That's cute,” Jack said. “Did you keep her?”

“Of course I did. She was the sweetest cat. Didn't get very big, but she had a lot of personality.”

“And did you follow your parent's advice and talk to your husband?”

“A little.”

o.O.o

 

 

A week went by before she saw the Doctor again. She was laying on her sofa going over her lesson plan for the week when she heard the TARDIS materialize in the backyard. Anderes had been asleep on River's stomach, but she sat up and tensed.

“I'm not too fond of that sound, either,” River said, scratching the kitten behind the ears to calm her.

“River?” the Doctor called.

“In here.”

He entered the living room and grinned. “You like her?”

“Mm hmm. Thank you, Sweetie. She's barely left my side.”

She moved her legs to let him sit and then placed them over his lap. He seemed thoughtful. “Why didn't you tell me you were having bad dreams?”

“I didn't think it mattered. We don't share a bed or even a room so it had nothing to do with you.” She lightly pet the tiny hairs on the edge of the kitten’s ear.

“Not matter? What are they about?”

River let out a deep breath in annoyance. “My childhood. My time in prison. Does it really matter?”

“What happened in Stormcage?” he asked.

Anderes chose that moment to bop River on the nose with one paw.

“Hey! Did you teach her that?” She caught his eye and silently begged him to let it go.

He was silent for a moment before picking up the kitten.  “Of course not.” He addressed the cat. “Only I'm allowed to do that. Because I'm her...mate, that's why. What do you mean then where have I been? I've been busy! The Polophylax needed saving from...never mind!”

He thrust the kitten back at her and tried to get up. River moved out of the way and hid a grin in the kitten's fur.

“So, did you just stop by to say hello, or…?”

He pulled on his jacket and straightened his bowtie. “Of course not. I wanted to know if you would like to go--”

“Whatever it is, yes. I would love to.” She looked down at the bundle of fur in her arms.

“I made a room for her in the TARDIS. Wait until you see it. There are toys of every type I could find, a self-cleaning litterbox, and so many things to climb.”

 

 

o.O.o

“He made a room for a cat.”

River nodded. “Yes, and for every one after that. He even changed them to suit particular personalities and tastes.”

Jack shook his head.


	4. Chapter 4

“I almost ended it,” she confessed.

Jack's face remained impassive. “What happened?”

Even though it had happened over one hundred years ago, it still hurt. “I found out how he really felt.”

o.O.o

 

 

He had a tight hold of her wrist as he pulled her along withhim.Even though the need to run for their lives had stopped, he hadn't slowed down. River had a difficult time keeping up.

They reached the TARDIS, and he practically shoved her inside. She stood off to the side rubbing her sore wrist while he activated the controls.

“I’m sorry I didn't tell you about her earlier, but I hadn't expected to run into an ex-girlfriend while on a date,” she began, keeping her tone light. He didn't reply.

“I especially hadn't expected that ex-girlfriend to be the now crown princess of a planet.”

He still didn't reply and now she was getting worried.

“I also hadn't expected her husband to be so touchy about it and order my arrest.”

That was why they had ended up running.

He finally looked at her,and the disgust on his face shocked her.

“You embarrass me.”

His tone was so calm, so matter of fact, that she froze.

“Doctor?” she managed to ask when she could finally speak.

He didn't reply, and his words brought back memories.

 

It wasn't the first time he had said those exact words to her. The previous time had been years ago,in a timeline that had ceased to exist.It had been right before--

The realization hit her like a physical punch. She struggled to breathe.

“You didn't want to marry me, did you?”

“I told you, didn't I? But you refused to believe it.”

“Rule one.”

“Not in that case.”

“Then why did you?” River asked, her voice harsh with the emotions she was suppressing.

The TARDIS started shaking so she let him concentrate on piloting it. When he finally landed it she asked again.

“Time was unraveling, River,” he began. “The universe was being destroyed and you were too selfish to care.”

River saw her parents enter the room but didn't acknowledge them. “I cared. I just cared about you more.”

“You were selfish,” he repeated.

 

“I was in love, and you used it,” she realized. The knowledge made her feel as though she were shattering. “Asking my parent's permission. Calling me wife. Marrying me...it was all manipulation! That's why you never asked me directly. You didn't want to give me a choice. You used me!”

“I did what I had to.” He headed for the doors and opened them. They appeared to be on some wooded planet.

“You don't get to walk away like that.” She went to the door when he stepped out.

“Fine. The whole truth is that you were a young, immature, selfish woman who put her own feelings ahead of the rest of the universe. Marry you? I was ashamed to admit I knew you! And you're still that way. River Song, the woman who has to be the center of attention. River, the woman obsessed with flirting with anything! Who does what she wants, and doesn’t care about the consequences!The woman who always has a weapon with her and shoots before thinking. How many people have you killed, River, that could have been saved if you had taken a single second to think?”

He stood just outside the doors of the TARDIS breathing hard with barely suppressed rage. He obviously expected her to respond, and seemed eager for the fight.

So she calmly shut the door in his face and locked it.

 

 

“River, what's going on?” Amy asked, coming down to the central console. Amy watched as River tried to start the TARDIS. “You can't just leave him!”

River continued to operate the controls. “River, this is his TARDIS!”

River turned on her mother. “This TARDIS is my mother. It is a part of me so I have even more right to it than he does!” Amy paled and she realized how harsh her voice sounded. “I'm sorry, Mother.”

“He's the Doctor, River. You can't just leave him.”

Apparently the TARDIS agreed because it was refusing to go anywhere.

River looked at her first mother, who seemed more concerned with the Doctor than her own daughter. Rory stood a few feet away, a strange expression on his face.

Neither of them were trying to comfort her. Well, what did she expect?

Knowing this last betrayal would be her undoing, River left before they could see the tears.

 

 

o.O.o

“He probably didn't mean it.”

River shook her head. “We both know that he meant every word. The Doctor uses words as a weapon and that is exactly what he did. He went for the pain.”

“Well,he lied. You are an amazing woman,and I am proud to know you.”

o.O.o

 

 

An hour later River curled up on the sofa in her favorite sitting room. The shattered feeling she had felt earlier had faded in the shower, and now she felt a growing despair.

“Here.” Rory's voice startled her. He was standing next to the sofa holding out a mug of tea.

“Thank you,” she responded, surprised. “Where's Mum?”

He sat next to her. “Trying to get the door open.”

River sighed. “I'm sorry you had to witness that.”

“Me,too. River--”

She wanted to set down her drink, but the table was on her right side. Very carefully she transferred the mug to her right hand and smothered a wince as the weight was agony.

“What happened?” her father asked quietly.

“It's nothing.”

“Please?”

He held out his hands and she shifted so that she could show him. He looked over the livid purple bruises circling her wrist. Gently he examined the range of movement.

“It's not broken,” he told her. “Now, what happened?”

“He grabbed my wrist.”

Rory was quiet. “Has he done this before?”

River pulled her arm back. “Just once. On Demon's Run. He's not violent, Dad.”

Rory let out an angry breath. “I heard what he said to you. He insulted you. He put you down. He--”

“I don't need a recap, I was there. Look, he gets angry--”

“River!”

She hurried on, wanting the conversation to end, yet at the same time wanting him to understand.

“He gets angry, but he wasn't wrong, and I deserved it.” Rory looked appalled and so she looked down at her lap. “I'm an archaeologist by day, and by night I go out and have fun. I lie, I cheat, and if needed, I kill. I'm a psychopath.”

“River.”

“TonightI killed three people. So if I get a bruised wrist and ego it's a small penance for murder.”

“Bullshit. Amy!”he shouted, getting up from the sofa and going to the door. He disappeared for a moment and returned with Amy.

 

 

“Did you talk some sense into her?” Amy asked, crossing her arms and glaring at River.

Rory showed Amy River's wrist. “Your Raggedy Doctor did this. She thinks she deserved it because she acts sexy and has killed.”

“What! Melody Pond what are you thinking!”

River suddenly felt very small sitting on the sofa with both her parents looking down on her with disapproval. She opened her mouth but Amy continued on.

“I didn't raise you this way. And yes, Mels, we all know I raised you in a way. What happened to the person who kneed Jeffrey Watson in the groin for grabbing her ass?”

“I love him,” River answered honestly. “I love the Doctor more than anything.”

 

That seemed to take the wind out of Amy's anger. She took Rory's spot on the sofa.

“You deserve better.”

“He's the second best man I know.”

“Who's the first?” Rory asked, confused.

Amy and River stared at him and after a moment he turned red. “Oh?”

“Stupid face,” Amy said affectionately.

“Well that's… Anyway, best men don't bruise and insult their wives,” Rory claimed, getting back on topic.

“I tried to find somebody else. At University? I tried so hard. But nobody can compare,” she explained.

“I know.” Amy put her arm around her. “Then there is one thing to do.”

“I get my gladius?” Rory asked.

“No!” Amy said. “We help our daughter realise she's better than this. Then we help her talk to the Doctor.”

“Oh, is that all?”

Amy ignored him. “We are going to find River Song.”

“I am River.”

“Almost. But the River I looked up to wouldn't have allowed this to happen. You just got lost is all. Love does that.”

“I'm not lost, Mother. I'm broken.”

“Then it's a good thing I'm excellent at fixing things.”

 

 

o.O.o

“Your parents were right,” Jack started. “But I understand what it is like to be caught up by the Doctor. Not in the same way, but I understand.”

“Then you know how hard it was to come to the decision I did.”

o.O.o

 

 

It was a month before her parents decided she was ready to confront the Doctor.

As she stood in the console room staring at the doors she felt her courage rapidly fading. Rory patted her shoulder and she went to unlock the door. The latch slid open with a click and she pulled open the door.

The woods were quiet and he was nowhere in sight.

“Doctor?” River called. She felt a rush of panic. What if he had been injured?

No, a minute later he emerged from the trees clutching a small furry creature. He muttered to it and set it down. River moved out of the way and he entered the TARDIS.

When neither Amy nor Rory greeted him warmly he looked a little put out. He scratched the back of his head and looked around the room.

“River…”

“Go get cleaned up. I'll be here,” she told him quietly.

 

 

Her parents offered to stay with her when she talked with the Doctor, but she declined. They had been a big help to her, but she needed to do it on her own.

Still, when he came into the console room Rory caught him before he could approach her.

“I remember Rome.”

“I know,” the Doctor answered, obviously confused.

“You know how important family was then.”

He nodded.

“She's my daughter. Hurt her again, and it will be the last thing you do,” Rory said matter-of-fact. On anybody else it would have seemed overly dramatic, but he was so calm about it that the Doctor simply nodded.

 

 

Rory and Amy left,and River tried to gather her thoughts.

“I hurt you?” he asked.

River automatically rubbed her wrist. It was fully healed now. “When we were heading back to the TARDIS you grabbed my wrist and pulled me along with you.”

He stepped up to her and gently took it. “River, I never meant to hurt you.”

“It was just bruised.”

He placed a kiss on the back of her hand and look at her. Genuine concern and regret clouded his features. “I'm sorry. It will never happen again.”

“I think that we should divorce,” she told him.

“What? River, why?”

She took back her hand. “You made it very clear that you married me under duress. I'm not what you want, Doctor. You don't want a wife.”

“River, I didn't want to marry you.” His words still felt like knives in her chest. “But I stayed married to you.”

“Out of pity. Some misplaced sense of obligation, maybe,” she scoffed.

“Did I ever say that?”

“You didn't have to.”

 

He let out a deep breath. “River, do you want to end this because you think I want to?”

“I think that you're not happy with who I am. But I'm not going to change. So you should be with someone who makes you happy.”

“I want to be with you.”

She looked him in the eyes. “Rule one.”

He also preferred things to be on his terms.

“No. Cross my hearts.”

 

 

A tiny flutter of hope started in her chest. “Then some things have to change.” His expression grew wary but she continued, drawing courage from her parents. She was sure they were listening. “You have to treat me better. I'm your wife, not your companion. You can't insult me just because you don't like something I do. Accept who I am.”

He crossed his arms. “You shouldn't have just shot them.”

She shook her head and stepped back.

“River, wait. Can you accept who I am?”

“I always have.”

He paused for so long she worried he wouldn’t reply. “Then I always will.”

She knew it wasn't the full truth, but he was giving her what he could. It would have to be enough.

 

 

“You said you didn't get to say yes. Would you say yes now?”

“What?”

He untied his bowtie. “Ponds, get in here!”

River stared at the strip of red cloth not understanding what he was talking about. “Doctor?”

“River, time isn't broken and this time I'm asking. Will you marry me?”

“Wait, a month ago you couldn't stand her and hurt her and now you want to marry?” Rory cried. He and Amy hurried into the room.

“When we first met she wanted to marry me, killed me, then brought me back,” the Doctor reminded him. “Allin one day.”

“Good point,” Amy said.

The Doctor held out the cloth. “River?”

Would things really change between them? She wasn't quite sure that she believed they would. But she loved him so much that she had to try again.

She took the cloth and wrapped it around her hand. He took the other end and did the same.

When the Doctor looked at her parents she stopped him.

“No. This time ask me.”

“All right. River?”

“I do. Doctor, do you? Do you truly?”

Rory pointed to the cloth binding them. “This is real. Do you truly vow to treat her right?” Amy pulled Rory back.

“I do,” the Doctor replied.

River smiled, allowing herself to get caught up in the moment. “Then you may definitely kiss the bride.”

 

That night River settled into her bed with an academic paper she was writing. Her parents had long gone to bed, and the Doctor had disappeared into the depths of the TARDIS. She tried to not be disappointed. They had agreed to changes to their relationship, but nothing about the physical aspect.

A knock on the door startled her. It was probably Amy. Sometimes when Amy couldn't sleep she brought tea and they visited.

It wasn't Amy but the Doctor. He was dressed in dark blue pajamas that had white stars on them along with a black robe. In his hands was a small box. “May I join you?”

“Of course. Come in.”

“I mean,” he gestured vaguely towards her, “you said this was my room too. May I join you?”

She tried not to let her surprise show and moved over. “Of course, Sweetie.”

Very carefully he pulled back the covers and climbed in. When he was settled he handed her the box.

She opened it to find a piece of jewelry. It was thin strips of gold woven together around a thin strip of red cloth. The cloth was left plain for several inches on each end. The material felt familiar.

“Doctor, is this your…?”

“My bowtie. It didn't seem right that I was the only one who could wear it.” He held up his wrist and there was the other strip of bowtie, minus the woven bits.

“It's beautiful. How?”

“There's a machine.”

“Why does the TARDIS have jewelry making machines?”

“Why does it have anything? I stopped asking. Do you like it?”

“I love it.” The bracelet fit perfectly. It was light and thin so that it didn’t annoy her.

She softly kissed him, and after a moment he pulled back.

“Goodnight River.”

“Goodnight, Sweetie.”

 

 

o.O.o

“Please tell me that you just faded to black because what happened next would make me blush,” Jack pleaded.

River raised her eyebrows. “Is there anything left that would make you blush?”

“Probably not,” he replied with a shame free grin.

“To answer your real question, nothing happened. We cuddled a bit and kissed a bit before I fell asleep.”

“Naked cuddling?”

“Pajama cuddling. He was gone when I woke up.”

“I'm so sorry. Are you sure you don't want me to talk to him? Are you sure he likes women?”

If she didn't know how things would turn out, she might have wondered the same.


	5. Chapter 5

“Did you ever meet any of your other family? Do they know about the Doctor?”

River smiled. “That’s a complicated question. But yes, I did. Only once as River, though. And the Doctor surprised me.”

“What happened?”

 

 

o.O.o

River stood in the TARDIS wardrobe in her underwear, hands on her hips. “I just don’t know why they did it.”

The Doctor sat on their bed pulling apart some device. Her new kitten closely watched him and would pounce on any piece that fell. “I should think it was obvious.”

She pulled out a dress and rejected it as having too low of a neckline. The next one was too short. “Then tell me.”

He held up a small wheel and examined it. “You’re their daughter.”

She found a long blue skirt and pulled it on. “Yes…”

“It’s a family dinner.”

“Exactly.” A pale green blouse complimented it nicely.

He looked at her. “They want their daughter at their family dinner.”

“Nobody will know who I am except them. I’ll be an intruder.” She went into the bathroom and put some gel into her hair. Immediately it sprang into well defined, frizz free curls.

“It doesn’t matter to Amy and Rory.”

“It does to me.” It would be difficult to sit there and know that her grandparents didn’t—and never could—know who she really was.

He came up behind her and watched as she expertly applied makeup. When she was done he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. “You’ll be fine. Be glad that you can do it.”

He was right, of course. So many things could have gone wrong in her complicated life. Worst of all, they could have rejected River. Instead they embraced and welcomed her back as their daughter.

The least she could do is suffer through a dinner.

She spun around and kissed him properly. “We should go on a date soon”

“Dancing on Lilium One? Moonlight swim after?”

“Definitely.” She looked at the items in his hands. “What are you doing?”

“Spoilers?”

“Boredom?”

He reluctantly nodded.

 

 

River arrived at precisely five pm. Straightening her shirt, she rang the doorbell.

Amy answered and broke into a big grin when she saw it was River. “You came. I'm glad.”

River entered the house and looked around. Both Amy's and Rory’s parents—her grandparents—were there. River felt her self-confidence dip upon seeing them. It was silly, of course. She had met them before as Mels, but that had been before Amy and Rory knew the truth.

Amy ushered River to the dining table and motioned to the empty chair. Her grandparents looked confused, even more so when Amy didn’t tell them more than River’s name and went into the kitchen. River took her seat and smiled at them. Brian was the one who seemed the most welcoming and immediately introduced himself. Amy’s parents looked upset at this intruder.

 

Rory came out of the kitchen carrying a platter of roast chicken. Amy followed him with a bowl of mashed potatoes and a pot of gravy.

“River!” Rory set down the platter and gave her a hug. “Glad you could make it.”

“Hello, D—Rory.” Mentally she kicked herself for the slip.

Amy set down the food and fetched a bowl of green beans. “Shall we?”

It was silent as everybody dished up, but once plates were full the interrogation began.

“So, River, how do you know Amy and Rory? I don’t think they’ve mentioned you before,” Tabitha Pond asked.

River delayed answering. She couldn’t tell them the complicated truth, of course, and she hadn’t come up with a cover story. River smiled politely. “It’s a long story.” Unable to resist it, she looked down at her plate. “I feel like I’ve known them my entire life.”

Amy asked her mother about a craft project and drew Tabitha’s attention away from River for a while

 

.

She tried the chicken and found that it was the best that she had ever tasted. “This is amazing, Rory.”

“I’ll teach you sometime,” Rory replied.

River didn’t cook, but she knew it would mean a lot to her father. “I look forward to it.”

“That recipe has been passed down for four generations,” Rory’s mother said, disapproval in every word. “Don’t you want to give it to your child some day?”

Rory glanced at Amy, and while River couldn’t completely translate it, she knew it was significant.

 “Mum. Dad,” Amy began when the doorbell rang. Amy went to answer it, and River heard a familiar voice.

“Good evening, Ponds! I hope I’m not late,” the Doctor greeted as he entered the dining room.

“Of course not, Doctor.” Rory set a plate of food at the empty spot next to River.

“I hate you,” River told him softly, noting the lack of surprise on her parents' part.

“No, you don’t,” he replied, smug.

 

 

o.O.o

“Apparently he had been invited, too, but thought I needed to be on my own first.”

“He sat through an awkward family dinner to support you.”

“Not exactly.”

o.O.o

 

 

Amy’s parents were looking at the Doctor with distaste.

“You’re the one who crashed their wedding. Amy’s imaginary Raggedy Doctor,” Augustus said.

“Indeed I am. Well, not so raggedy now.” He gestured to the formal suit he was wearing. “Right?”

“You look handsome, Sweetie,” River reassured him.

“You do, Doctor,” Amy agreed.

The Doctor smiled and looked down at his plate. “I don’t like green beans.”

“No dessert unless you eat them,” Rory warned.

River chuckled and poured gravy over the beans. He reluctantly took a bite, the lure of desert being too much to resist.

 

 

Her grandparents watched this exchange and Tabitha slammed her fork down. “Amy, what is going on? I thought this was a family dinner.”

Amy and Rory exchanged that glance again. Rory cleared his throat and stood. “Mum, Dad. Brian. When we said this was a family dinner we meant the whole family.”

Amy stood and moved behind River’s chair. River was frozen, not believing what they were doing.

“We would like to introduce you to River Song…also known as Melody Pond. Our daughter,” Amy said.

“Mother!” River gasped. Amy squeezed her shoulder in support.

Tabitha frowned. “That’s not funny, Amy. Must we go through this again?”

“Go through what? I showed you I wasn’t crazy. You were at my wedding!”

“Is this…” Brian pointed at the Doctor.

The Doctor frowned. “I had nothing to do with it. I didn’t even know they were using the TARDIS for…what they were doing.”

“No, what I mean is, River-Melody-her. She’s older than you two. Is it a space travel thing?”

“Space travel? You’re encouraging this delusion!” Tabitha cried.

“Delusion? Mum, you saw the TARDIS materialize in the middle of the reception! What more do you need to convince you?”

Tabitha set her mouth in a thin line, and River knew there was nothing to be done.

“I’m older because of—“ she tried to think of what to say and decided on something she never thought she would say. “—timey-wimey stuff. Time travel, basically.” Along with Time Lord DNA, but that would be too much right now.

“It doesn’t matter why she looks the way she does. What matters is that she is a part of our lives. If you cannot accept that then…then you won’t see me anymore,” Amy said firmly.

“Mother, no,” River cried, stunned.

“Me, either,” Rory agreed, looking at Brian.

Tabitha stood up, her face pleading. “Amy, please, get some help. I know the psychiatrists didn't really help until later, but--”

 

River had had enough. She had been there when Amy was dragged from psychiatrist to psychiatrist. She had seen how it had eventually wore her down and made her question her own sanity. Not again. “Mrs. Pond? One night when Amy was about nine years old she was having a sleepover with her best friend Melody. Around two am you came downstairs and found Melody in the kitchen wide awake.”

Tabitha looked stunned and sat back down. “How do you know that?” Under the table the Doctor took her hand. He knew the story. “You asked Melody why she was up. Melody told you she didn't want to go home the next day. You laughed and told her she had to. Then you asked why she didn't want to.

“Now, one thing about Melody was that she didn't really trust that easily. But in school they told the students that if somebody was doing something bad that they were supposed to tell an adult. She decided to tell you because you were Amy's mummy, and you loved Amy.”

Brian sucked in a breath and Amy's hands tightened on River's shoulders.

“So Melody told you that bad people where she lived were making her do something very wrong. That they wanted her to hurt somebody. Do you remember what you said? You told her she was naughty for making up stories, and that if she didn't stop, she wouldn't be allowed to play with Amy anymore.”

“Mum?” Amy asked, horrified.

Tabitha looked indignant. “She spun some tale about a woman in an eyepatch and monsters. What was I supposed to do? You were so fragile!”

“You were supposed to believe the little child that came to you for help!” Rory said.

Amy was gripping her shoulders almost painfully now. “Get out.”

“Amelia!”

“Get out of my house, Mum.”

Tabitha stood and stormed out of the house, her husband following.

After the front door slammed, Amy hugged River tight. “I'm sorry. If she had believed you--”

“Everything has happened the way it had to, Mum.”

“Believed you?” Brian interrupted.

River had forgotten he was there. “Mr. Williams…”

“No. Don't. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I have a granddaughter.”

River smiled. “You do, Grandfather.”

 

 

o.O.o

“I ended up having a very nice relationship with Brian.”

“What about Amy’s parents?”

“I don’t think Amy ever saw them again. Amy was absolutely furious and she can hold a grudge.”

“Don’t feel like it was your fault. You did nothing wrong. Amy made her choice.”

“I know.”


	6. Chapter 6

Jack stretched and took a swallow of his drink. “So you said that your parent’s didn’t always accept your relationship with the Doctor?”

“Well, it’s more like they didn’t like to acknowledge certain aspects of my relationship with him at first.”

Jack chuckled. “I don’t think any parent does. So what changed it?”

“I got bored and wanted to kill time one morning.”

o.O.o

 

 

River awoke to find the Doctor curled up next to her. He was deeply asleep, his chest slowly rising and falling. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeats. She hadn’t known that he would be visiting her parents also, and she was pleased that he had chosen to be here with her instead of going back to the TARDIS.

She loved these opportunities. With his Time Lord physiology he only needed one or two hours of sleep so she rarely got to see him like this.

He stirred. “G’ morning,” he said sleepily. “Is it time for breakfast?”

She had thought she had heard some signs of life nearby, but there had been no footsteps in the hallway. “No. They’re not up yet, and you know the rule.”

Between the Doctor always'improving’ appliancesand her managing to set everything on fire, they were banned from the kitchen.

He looked so disappointed that she laughed and gently kissed him. “They’ll probably be soon. You won’t starve before then.”

“That’s so long!” He hated waiting. “What am I supposed to do until then?”

She thought for a moment before kissing his cheek, then neck. “I have an idea.”

“What?” She raised an eyebrow. “Oh.”

“Well?”

He kissed her. “I like your ideas.” Kiss. “They’re fun. Except when you get all shooty and we have to run for our lives.”

She gave an indignant laugh. “You’re one to talk about running for our lives!” Placing her hands on his chest, she pushed him onto his back. His hands slipped under her top to caress the skinofher back while she leaned down to give him a lingering kiss.

“River, have you seen—“ her door opened and Amy recoiled in shock. “–the Doctor!”

“Out!” River cried, jumping up.

Amy slammed the door closed. “Rory, I found him.” There was a thud against the door like Amy had kicked or hit it. “You two. Downstairs. Now!”

The Doctor hurriedly put his socks on. River stared at the floor. Her grown woman sensibility was telling her it was no big deal while her daughter sensibility was humiliated.

“Shouldn’t we do as she yelled?” He always hated getting on Amy’s bad side. Actually, except for things like the Daleks and Cybermen, he hated getting on anybody’s bad side.

He hated confrontation and negativity in general.

River looked at the door and then went to her bag. “Sweetie, do I ever go anywhere without looking my best?”

It was a small delay, but she used it.

He went downstairs without her, and after donning a sweater and slacks she pulled her hair back into a braid and followed.

 

 

o.O.o

Jack was laughing so hard his face was red. “I'm sorry!”

“It's not funny!” River cried, throwing a pillow at him. He caught it and tried to stop. He made his expression blank,but she could see in his eyes he was still laughing.

o.O.o

 

 

“Of course I’m having an emotion! I find you with her on top of you and your hand up her top-“ Amy raged.

“Amy!” Rory groaned.

“-and you expect me to not have one?”

“Rory, help?” the Doctor pleaded.

“You’re on your own for this one. You’re lucky I’m not having an emotion.”

“You!” Amy had spotted her. “What’s your explanation? And it had better be more than ‘it’s not what it looked like!’”

River crossed her arms. “It’s exactly what it looked like. I was having a moment with my husband.” She put extra emphasis on the last word.

“And what makes you think you can do that?”

“We’re married!” Her humiliation gave way to anger.

“I meant in this house.”

“We were just kissing.” She obviously wasn't going to go any further. That's what made the whole situation so unfair. She was being accused of something she wanted to do but wasn't doing.

Well, not in her parent’s house, of course. Narrowing her eyes, she shifted her stance. Actually, it wasn't the only thing unfair about the whole situation. “Besides, you’re one to talk. I wouldn’t even be here if you hadn’t done more in the TARDIS.”

Amy shifted so that her stance matched River’s. “That’s different!”

“How is it any different?”

“Because you’re my daughter!” The fight seemed to go out of Amy. “Only a few years ago I carried you inside me and birthed you and held you in my arms. Then you were my best friend growing up. And now you’re grown and married and…and having moments. As your mother I want to smack the both of you. As your best friend I want to say way to go, and it is so confusing.”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the Doctor inching towards the door. Rory grabbed his jacket to stop him.

River wanted to tell Amy that Amy wasn’t the only one confused. She was living her life in a different order to her mother, so at any given time she had to pretend that she had just met heror that she didn’t know their true relationship. It was necessary to preserve the timeline, to preserve River’s own existence, but it hurt. It hurt to see her mother going through the agony and not be able to do anything about it.

Or worse, be the one to cause it.

She swallowed, trying to ignore the pain in her chest and holding onto her anger and humiliation so that she didn’t fall apart. “Then maybe I shouldn’t come around here anymore.”

She headed for the back door.

“Melody! Please don’t!” Amy called, desperately.

“It’s River.” She replied before stepping into the yard and closing the door.

She fully intended to leave, but couldn’t bring herself to activate her vortex manipulator, so she stood staring out at the rain for a while. The cool air helped calm her down, leaving a hollow feeling in her chest.

 

 

The door opened and she heard someone behind her.

“You’re still here,” Rory said.

“Yes. The Doctor?” She wouldn’t be surprised if he left and never contacted her again.

“I had a firm discussion with him about boundaries and appropriate behavior. He went to the TARDIS for a break from ‘all the humanness’.”

“He’s still here?” She turned to Rory in shock.

“Uh huh. This makes me think that all of us want this strange family to work.”

River sighed and leaned against the wall. “She needs to make up her mind. Am I her daughter or her best friend? Either way, she needs to treat me like an adult.”

“You need to start acting like an adult,” Rory countered. “Admit it, your behavior was a little immature and thoughtless. I would have expected it from Mels, not River.”

After a moment River reluctantly nodded.

“Look, I don’t think Amy is ever going to be able to truly decide,” headmitted. “And I don’t think it’s fair to expect her to.”

River was quiet.

“So you need to decide whether or not you can live with that. But decide now and stick to it. No continually threatening to leave and never come back. I won’t let you put her through that.”

His was deadly serious,and River could see the man who had protected the woman he loved for over 2000 years.

“All right,” River replied. “Have you decided? Am I your daughter or friend?”

“Daughter,” he replied without any hesitation. “And I think you feel the same.” He smiled. “You do call us Mother and Dad.”

 

 

River knocked on the door to her parent’s bedroom.

“I’m not hungry, Rory,” Amy called through the door.

“It’s me. Can I talk to you?”

After a moment Amy opened the door. Sitting back on the bed, Amy regarded River with a mix of hostility and pain.

“I’m not going anywhere. At least, not permanently,” River told her.

Amy nodded, silent.

“And I’m sorry for threatening to. This is a complicated situation for all of us.”

Amy still didn’t speak.

“I’ll see you downstairs…Mother.” She turned to go.

“I’ll respect that you’re older than me and married and everything that comes with that, if you respect that I might slip up. Because you are my daughter and now that I know I can’t forget.”

“I don’t want you to forget,” River replied honestly before leaving the room.

 

 

o.O.o

“Wait, wait, wait! He stayed?” River nodded. “The Doctor went out to the TARDIS, had every opportunity to leave this little domestic squabble behind, but he stayed?” Jack cried.

River nodded. “He came back in an hour laterand we all had pancakes. It was very strained but he broke the tension by telling us about the park where he was going to take us. Who can stay upset knowing that they would soon be in the galaxy’s largest water amusement park?”

Jack still stared at her. “So he not only stayed, he then took everyone on a family outing? River!” He seemed to be trying to get some message across to her, but didn’t know what it could possibly be.


	7. Chapter 7

River lay back in the soft grass, letting the sunlight warm her body. It was a perfect day. Warm but not hot, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of flowers.

“I think I spotted it! Look, River!” the Doctor’s voice called.

Sitting up, River picked up the binoculars and zeroed in on the dark shape he was pointing at. “That’s a log, Sweetie.”

His excitement faded and he resumed his watch from the edge of the cliff.

They were on Draconis VIII, a planet that was deserted except for a massive creature that was said to inhabit the large ocean. Out of the many visitors only ten had actually seen it. The Doctor was determined that they were to be the eleventh and twelfth.

“You know, there’s a reason why it’s called the rarest creature in the galaxy.” She walked over and sat next to him, her legs dangling off the cliff. Looking down, she saw deep churning water.

“Yes, but all of the sightings have been in the summer. That’s why we’re here now.”

“I know.” He had gleefully explained it to her in the TARDIS.

It was another of their adventures that had been happening more often. She didn’t travel with him regularly, but now they were up to an average of twice a week.

It had to mean something and she hoped she knew what it was.

 

 

“Doctor, do you trust me?” she asked, not looking at him. In the past he freely admitted to not trusting her. That had been before he knew who she was. She hoped things had changed.

“What? Of course I do.” He answered dismissively, still scanning the water.

River wasn’t sure she completely believed him. She had done so much to him, and once he had told her he didn’t. “Then will you answer a question?”

He suddenly stood, eagerly looking out at the water. She saw a dark shape in the distance. He sat back down, disappointed. “I’ll try to answer. Unless it is a spoiler, of course.”

She took her time before asking. This question could end their relationship. She had to know though.

Picking up a large rock, she dusted it off and turned it in her hands. “Will you tell me your name?”

“I’m the Doctor,” he replied. His tone had gone colder.

She fought the urge to flinch. “I mean your real name.”

“You know I don’t tell that to anyone.”

She finally looked at him. He was watching her. Gone was the earlier enthusiasm and wonder. In its place was a coldness that could easily change to anger.

“I’m not anyone.” When he didn’t reply, she continued,“You know my real name. You know—or will know—all my secrets. I don’t want to know all of yours, just this.”

“No.” He looked back at the water and set the binoculars to his eyes. His forehead wrinkled and he frowned. “It’s gone…”

River no longer cared about the creature. She tossed the rock over the side of the cliff and tried to decide what to do.

He had just shown that he didn’t really, truly trust her. She understood that his name was a touchy subject, but—

Her thoughts were interrupted when something grabbed her leg. It was thick and wet and rubbery. River tried to pull away but it wrapped itself around the leg and pulled.

 

 

She slid down the side of the cliff. She hit her head and then slammed into a thick branch. Grabbing onto it, she held on with both arms. The creature tugged on her leg and she whimpered.

“River!” the Doctor yelled. She could see him looking over the cliff.

“I’m here!”

She made the mistake of looking down. The water was roughly churning. Long tentacles were emerging from it, and in the middle of was some kind of large mouth with sharp teeth.

Carefully, she shifted her weight and reached one hand down to her waist. Pulling out a knife, she thrust it into the tentacle that was holding her leg.

Instead of letting go she felt barbs dig into her flesh and the tentacle tightened. She instinctively tried to pull out of its grasp, and couldn’t hold in the scream as her leg snapped several times.

“River!”

Suddenly the creature let go and sank back into the water. River tightened her hold on the branch.

“Hold on, I’ll go get-“ he started.

“No!” She stared down at the water, shaking. It could come back.

A few minutes later she felt something brush her hair. It was a rope. Grabbing onto it, she used her good foot and hand to help him as he pulled her up.

 

 

Relieved, she collapsed onto the ground. Immediately she tried to scramble away from the edge when a stab of fear went through her.

“River, River, it’s not coming back.” He held up her blaster sadly.

She nodded and was dismayed to find herself shaking and her breathshallow and quick.

He knelt and focused on her leg, the agony of which made her clench her teeth. She looked down and saw a mess of blood and torn flesh. He aimed his sonic at her, frowned, and then placed his hand over the worst of the injury. Knowing what he was about to do, she tried to pull away.

“Don’t you dare!” she cried.

He looked at her. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault—“ She trailed off as he touched her forehead and she felt sleepiness that she couldn’t fight.

 

 

When River awoke she felt momentary panic. There was a weight over her body and she struggled against it. Not again!

“It’s okay. River, you’re okay.” She felt a hand on her and pulled back.

A light came on,and she saw that it was the Doctor next to her. Embarrassed, she took a deep breath.She was tucked into her bed in the TARDIS not at the bottom of a lake.

“You put me out,” she accused.

“Well, yes. It was the only way-“ he began.

“Don’t ever do that again,” she told him, her voice serious. “The last time somebody did that to me I ended up in an astronaut suit waiting to kill you”

“Right. Sorry.”

 

 

She sat up and realized that her leg didn’t hurt. Throwing back the blankets, she saw that it was completely healed. Faint circular scars were shinier than the rest of her skin, but that was it.

“You used your regeneration energy, didn’t you?”

He sat next to her. “You were too injured to move. Your leg was broken in four places, and you were bleeding out. It was only enough for me to safely get you to the medical bay.”

River shook her head. That energy was too precious. “You shouldn’t have. I’m not worth it.”

He gave her a look that was sincere. “You’re my wife. You are worth it. Besides, you healed me.”

She swung her legs around to sit on the edge of the bed. “That was different. What happened was my fault.”

“This was mine. Waiting at its feeding ground was probably a bad idea. I didn’t think it could reach up a 30 meter cliff.”

“Maybe next time you’ll listen to me.”

He huffed.

“I’m sorry our day was spoiled. Let me get changed and we can do something else.” She paused. “Something where no creatures have tentacles.”

He brightened and stood. “I know exactly what we can do. Dress warmly.” He seemed to consider something and leaned down. She expected him to kiss her, but he placed his mouth by her ear.

When he spoke the words were quiet. Lyrical. She could almost feel their age, and it made her shiver.

When he straightened, all she could do was stare at him in shock.

Without looking at her, he left the room.

River sat there and tried to come to terms with the fact that she now knew the Doctor’s true name.

 

 

o.O.o

“He told you his name?” Jack asked. “The name he was born with? The namehe has never told anyone?”

“Yes.”

“River! And you still think he doesn't love you?”

“He doesn't. That had nothing to do with love.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Then everything changed when it came to my parents.”

“How?”

“I wasn't actively avoiding their calls. I was busy. I became a full professor. I also started a business where I would take people on expeditions to archaeological sites. My career was my focus until one day the Doctor showed up and wanted to go on a family adventure. How could I resist?”

o.O.o

 

 

“Where are we going?” River asked, excited.

The Doctor materialized the TARDIS outside of Amy and Rory’s house. “It's a surprise.”

“So I’ll need not only my blaster, but a hidden backup,” she said, pulling open the doors. The Doctor’s surprises normally ended with them captured or running for their lives.

 He gave her a hurt look, and she just smirked and rang the doorbell.

Amy answered. ”Well, it's about time!”

“Surprise!” the Doctor cried. “How about it, Pond? A trip to--”

“I can't go with you. Didn't you get my messages? River?”

“I know you called,” he admitted, scratching his head.

River looked around and noticed the house seemed more cluttered than usual. “Mum, is something going on?”

“Yes. Doctor, River, I can't travel with you anymore. Things have changed.” Amy saw something out the window and grinned. “Here they are!”

 

 

River was stunned to see Rory enter the house pushing a stroller. In it was a cheerful infant who seemed to be around seven months old.

“River, Doctor, this is Anthony. We adopted him a few months ago,” Amy explained, going over to her new family. “You both really need to answer your phones.”

Amy continued to speak, but River was focused on Rory. Gently, he unbuckled the seatbelt and lifted the infant into his arms. He looked happier than she had ever seen him. Amy did, too. The sight caused more pain than she had ever felt. She had to get out of there.

 

“I'm happy for you,” River said. ”Goodbye, Amy. Rory.”

She hurried out of the house and into the TARDIS.

 

 

In her room, River pulled out an old, battered photograph. She had retrieved it from the orphanage she’d lived at as Melody Pond during one of her escapes from Stormcage. It was of Amy and herself when she was a few days old and had been taken on Demon’s Run during the few weeks they had together.

Anthony would have years with Amy. Years with Rory. They would be a true family.

That was why she could never go back. As selfish as it was, she couldn't watch him grow up with everything she should have had.

 

 

“I could have told you,” she whispered to her husband that night. “I could have told you where to find baby Melody.”

“It wouldn't have done any good. The paradoxes would have ripped the universe to shreds. Everything happened as it had to,” the Doctor replied quietly.

“Of course.”

“River? Do you want to go see the Singing Towers tomorrow?”

She sat up. “Really? You mean it this time? Oh, Sweetie, I would love to!”

He nodded and got out of the bed. “I have a few things to take care of then. I'll see you tomorrow.”

River watched him go and somehow knew his subdued mood wasn't just because of the Ponds.

 

 

o.O.o

“I doubt they meant to replace you,” Jack said.

“Yes, they did. Without me popping in and out of their lives, they can be normal. They never have to think of the child taken from them and turned into a criminal psychopath.”

“River, you're not--” he sighed. “So he finally decided to bring you here?”

o.O.o

 

 

“I thought you were taking me to the Singing Towers,” she protested, confused. He had landed them in a quiet neighborhood. There were no towers, singing or otherwise, in sight.

“I will.” He pointed off to the left. “They're a transport away. Do you know there's a small university here? They have an archaeology department.” As he spoke, he led her down the street and stopped in front of a small house. He pressed some buttons on a keypad in the door and entered it.

 

It was hardly furnished, but the pieces that were there were simple and nice looking. It had a large backyard with a beautiful garden. Upstairs had two bedrooms and even a small sitting room with a balcony. As they went through, he acted like a realtor and pointed out insignificant things that she really didn't care about.

“What do you think?” he asked, spinning in a circle and gesturing around them.

“It's nice, Sweetie.”

“It's yours.”

“Mine?”

“Yeah. I did it properly. Bought it, signed documents and, everything. As far as the officials know it--”

“You son of a-- You aren't doing this to me,” River told him. He looked so proud of himself and she wanted to slap the self-congratulatory grin off his face.

“What? River…”

“You're not just dropping me here so you can run off! Is that why you mentioned the university? You expect me to just… No.”

She supposed she should have expected it. If her parents no longer wanted her, why would her husband?  She moved to leave but he stopped her.

“I bought it for you because I don't exist, remember? River, I meant this as our place.”

“Our place?” she echoed, confused.

“I want to do this properly.”

“You mean stay?” He nodded. “No more adventures? Running?”

What he was suggesting was absurd. He was the Doctor. He could barely hold still long enough to watch a movie. Settling down was unthinkable. There had to be more going on.

“Why now? Is it Amy and Rory? You can find another companion.”

He took a step back and looked away. “It was time.”

“Time for what?”

“To stop running.” He turned back to her and his expression was guarded. At her questioning look he shook his head. “Spoilers.”

 

 

The word pierced her heart like a knife. Their timelines had been tied together in a very specific way. They had been travelling in the same direction for over a century, but before that it had been back to front. She knew things before him.

She had been meeting younger and younger versions of him.

That meant that the day was coming when he wouldn't know her.

 

River studied his expression and saw pain deep in his eyes.

It had already happen for him, and it was coming sooner than she had thought for her.

“Doctor…” He wouldn't tell her. He couldn't. “How long were you thinking?”

A small smile appeared. “Just a night.”

“A night. You bought a house for a night.”

“Nights on Darillium are twenty-four years long…” He gave her a big grin.

She stared at him in shock for a moment. “Twenty four years is a long time.”

“Then we have plenty of time to unpack.”

 

 

                                                                          o.O.o

“And you lived happily ever after,” Jack finished.

River shrugged. ”Not really. Darillium did bring a change to our relationship, though. Things I never expected.”

“Ooh. Go on.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Let’s go on a date tonight,” the Doctor suggested.

“The Towers?” she asked, excited. That was the main reason that they were there after all.

He paled very slightly. “No, I was thinking we could explore around the University.There are a lot of little places that might be fun. Dinner? Dancing?”

She tried to hide her disappointment and resisted the urge to demand why he continually refused to take her there. She knew that he would not tell her the truth.

“Yes. That sounds lovely.”

 

 

o.O.o

“You see, he had promised to take me to see the singing towers from our first date. He promised we would visit so many places, and that was one of them.”

“Let me guess, you have been everywhere else but there.”

“Yes. He still has not taken me.”

o.O.o

 

 

“Look, Sweetie, they have a museum!” River cried, excited. She grabbed the Doctor’s arm and pulled him through the doors of the Darillium University Museum.

“We're closingin twenty minutes,” the guard at the front door told them as they entered the building.

“More than enough time,” the Doctor grumbled as River thanked the guard and pulled her husband into the history section.

Her heels made a soft click on the stone floor of the main exhibition hall, but it wasn't enough to shield the Doctor’s muttering.

“Wrong. Wrong. Completely wrong. Ooh, one of mine! Oh, come on now! Who thought that was even a possibility?”

“Doctor!” River admonished.

 

In the back left corner of the room a stone tablet caught her eye. “I don't believe it.”

The Doctor eyed the tablet. “One of--”

“Mine,” she interrupted.

“What?”

She instinctively reached out a hand but stopped herself in time. It wasn't allowed,and she didn't have the protective shielding anyway. “You saved them from some kind of beast and they documented the events in their oldest temple. Oh, you should have seen it! Forty-Eightcenturies of history meticulously carved, laser etched, and painted on stone walls! They died out from a plague 200 years before I excavated this.”

She looked at him and saw the puzzlement on his face.

“Why there though? And it wasn’t a beast. It was a baby who was the last survivor of a ship crash and it was scared. It couldn't help being that big...or hungry.”

“I am an archaeologist, and my expertise is you, Sweetie. If there was a site that mentioned you, they called me in.”

“I didn't know that.”

River gave one last fond look at the artifact and moved away. “You never really cared to know about my job. In fact you take every opportunity to mock it,” she reminded him quietly. Even though it was just his personality, his superiority complex when it came to his time travel ability, it still hurt more than she let on. The Doctor cleared his throat and didn’t reply.

 

 

When they were outside, he pointed to a large building towards the center of campus. “That's the anthropology building. I made an appointment for tomorrow. It's a job interview, and they are very interested in hiring the talented River Song.”

“You did what?” she gasped.

“Apparently there is a big dig site on the Northern continent. It's not one of mine, but it's something. Now you won't have to stop work.”

When he had mentioned the University and an archaeology department she hadn't dreamed he would go this far with it.

At her silence he began to fidget. “You're not mad I set it up, are you? I was only thinking that I didn't want you to get bored, and I do know you love your work, and I didn't want you to have to choose between Darillium and your job, so--”

“Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“Shut up,” she ordered and kissed him.

She ended up getting the job and they settled into a new routine.

 

 

While the night on Darillium was twenty-four years long it was divided up into cycles. Each cycle had what River came to think of as “days” and “nights.” For four days a “week” River took a transport to the Northern continent and was the second in command of a very large dig. The rest of the time she spent with the Doctor.

He didn’t get a steady job. Instead he helped people with different technological problems and made improvements. River suspected that by the time they left Darillium might be further along technologically than they were supposed to be.

 

 

One night,about a month into their stay,there was a report of a large storm coming in off the largest ocean. Apparently it was going to bring high winds, thunder, and lightening. She had justreturnedhome from her job and wasn’t due back for three days.

As the stars were gradually blocked out,River felt a growing sense of unease.

“What is it?”

“I don’t like storms,” she admitted. “I’m not afraid, I just don’t like them. They remind me of Stormcage. You know there was always a storm there.”

“This is different,though.”

“I know that,” she snapped and immediately felt bad. She placed her hands on his arms. “I just don’t like it.”

He nodded. “Come with me.”

 

Taking her hand, he led her out into the backyard. “Look. You can come and go as you please. You’re not locked up. Come on, I have something to show you.”

They had parked the TARDIS in a corner of the backyard and that was where he led her.

“I was going to save this for your birthday, but it might help you today.” He showed her a room she had never seen before.

It was full of music; Earth, Akhaten, Sontaran, Silurian, and much more. It was a treasure trove for both the archaeologist and the music lover in her.

Hidden in the back was a small selection of Gallifreyan songs.

“Sweetie, it’s...this is amazing,” she told him, delighted.

“I thought you would like it. I have to work on some repairs for a while.”

“Do you want some help?” she knew the answer. He never let her help, which was sad. Things would go a lot faster if he did.

He scowled. “No, I’ll be fine. You’re...too distracting.”

“Am I distracting because I know more about the TARDIS than you do?” Being a child of the TARDIS had its advantages. “Or am I distracting in other ways?” She lowered her voice suggestively and his face reddened. “Very well, I’ll just explore here then.”

 

He left her and the first place she went was the Gallifreyean music. It was so hauntingly beautiful that it hurt, so she quickly switched to something else. She lost track of time, her attention only diverted when the TARDIS shook or made a noise. It seemed the repairs were not going well after all.

 

“Having fun?” the Doctor’s voice interrupted.

“Oh, yes. This is wonderful. Thank you. Get things fixed?”

“Yes, of course.” She could tell by his tone that hehadn’t.She repressed a smirk. “Are there any you want to bring into the house?” He showed her a small, portable music player and let her pick out a selection of music.

 

Outside, the storm seemed to have passed and the stars looked exceptionally bright. In the house, the Doctor prepared a small, late night snack for them. They sat listening to the music.

“This is a Noctuan funeral song,” he told her.

“It’s pretty upbeat for a funeral song.”

“That’s because they do not mourn death, they celebrate it. Their funerals are large parties with lots of alcohol, singing, dancing. It is considered…” he trailed off, turning red.

“What?” she had to know, especially now.

“It’s considered especially good luck to conceive a child at a funeral,” he muttered.

River laughed. “Well, nothing like continuing the cycle of life.”

 

She got up and tugged on his arm. “Come on.”

He seemed worried. “What?”

“Dance with me. This is meant for dancing, correct? So let’s dance.”

He stood and twirled her before pulling her close, one hand on her waist, the other holding her hand. “Wonderful idea.”

“Can we go there someday? To Noctua?” she asked.

“Of course.”

They swayed to the music for a while, even when the songs had changed.

“River?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry that you had to spend so much time in Stormcage.”

“I’m not.”

“Why? River, that’s twenty-five years that--”

“--that you had to be safe. You were able to use that time to delete databases of you. Doctor, I saved your life. It was a small price to pay.”

He looked her in the eyes. “Was it?”

She kept eye contact. “I don’t regret a single second.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you. Haven’t I said that over and over? I love you more than anybody or anything.”

“River.”

“Don’t. I know that you won’t say it back. I don’t expect you to. It’s okay.”

 

 

o.O.o

“He’s never said it. Ever?”

“Not even anything close to it.”

“Are you sure about that?”

o.O.o

 

 

He let go of her hand and gently pushed aside a lock of hair. Leaning in, he pressed his lips to hers. River relaxed into the embrace, pulling him closer. Instead of breaking this kiss like he normally would, he pulled her closer and kissed her harder. She was surprised but pleased. Also out of breath when they broke apart.

“Sweetie?”

“Do you...what I mean to say is...River, would you like to…” He blew out a breath in frustration.

River grinned and led him towards the stairs. “Yes, I would very much like to.”

 

 

o.O.o

"Oh, you cannot leave it there!" Jack exclaimed.

River sipped her drink. "What happens in the marital bedroom is private."

Jack scoffed. "Fine. Just let me know one thing: good?"

"Best ever."

He chuckled and she sensed something more in it. "What?"

"Nothing."

"There definitely was something."

He sighed. "I know."

"Know what?"

He leaned forward in his chair. "I know."

He knew? She studied his expression and her cheeks grew red when she realised what he meant. "Oh. How?"

"You're all about him. You alwayshavebeen. Oh, you dated, and definitely bragged--"

"I had to keep up with your stories!"

"--but I quickly learned the difference between the stories and reality."

Embarrassment filled her and came out in anger. "How you must have laughed."

"What? No! I actually thought it was pretty sweet. Plus, you gave me ideas on who to go after next. I had some amazing dates thanks to you."

"How could you have stood to be friends since it is so important to you?"

"Like I said, it was sweet. It had no effect on our friendship except..."

She raised her eyebrows in question.

"I did warn a few people to leave you alone."

She could see he was serious and she smiled at her best friend.

 

“But then it was ruined,” she told him.

o.O.o

 

They lay together in their bed, both fully relaxed and very happy. At least, River had been very happy. She still should be. Her husband was now her husband in every way. He was currently playing with a curl of her hair, tugging on it to see just how long it was.

“I can straighten it if you want to know for sure,” she told him, turning her face towards him.

He looked horrified. “Don’t you dare! It’s perfect.”

“It’s chaos.”

“It’sperfect chaos. It’s you.” He let go of the curl and trailed his fingers down her neck. Leaning in, he kissed her right behind her ear.

“Thanks,” she laughed and then sobered. “Why now?”

He lifted his head. “Because we’re already here?”

“No.” She pushed him away and sat up. “Why this now? We’ve been married for 116 years.You'venever showed any interest in our being physical before.” A theory formed in her mind,and she hated it. “It’s because we’re here, isn’t it? This is part of your wanting to do this properly.”

He stared at her, seeming to be stunned, before turning away and getting up. Without a single word in response, he got up and left the bedroom.

 

 

o.O.o

“Sometimes, I forget that you are still so young,” Jack told her. The tone of his voice, in addition to his words, made her look away from the sky. He was very still and… angry?

“I’m two hundred,” she protested, confused.

“You claim to know the Doctor so well, but when it comes down to it, you don't.”

His voice sounded so harsh,and she didn't understand what was going on. He could see her confusion and sighed.

"How many people hasthe Doctor slept with?”

“What? That's…” He was serious. “Elizabeth the First. He married her.”

“No, I mean this body. The one who has devoted so much time to you.”

“Matilda. She painted him.”

Jack grinned. “I’ve seen that painting. But that doesn't mean they had sex. I hear it actually ended with him getting locked up.”

“Mata Hari.”

“She told me the story. She tried but he ran when she stripped. Yelled that he was married and literally ran. She was pretty upset about it.”

“I don't know then.”

“That's because there isn't anybody. Nobody conquered the bowtie one! He isn't a whore. He's affectionate, but it's innocent. And believe me, many tried. He wouldn’t let anyone that close.” Jack stood. “He finally lowered his guard enough to connect on that level with another being...and youthrewit in his face.”

He left the back yard and she could almost feel the disgust radiating from him.


	10. Chapter 10

After a few minutes she turned everything off downstairs and went to bed. The door to the guest room was firmly closed. She almost knocked on it, but at the last moment decided not to.

When she awoke the Doctor’s side of the bed was undisturbed. It wasn’t completely unusual for him to stay out all night. He would get involved in some new project and lost track of the time. The message light on her tablet was flashing.

 

Singing Towers tonight?

 

She smiled. After 24 years on Darillium he was finally going to take her to see them. She should feel excited.

So why instead of excitement did she feel dread? 

 

 

They reached the top of the cliff and looked down into the valley below. In the center stood two impossibly tall pillars. The light brown stone had small specks of crystal that made them sparkle in the moonlight. River stepped to the edge.

“They're beautiful.”

“Just wait.”

He spread a blanket on the ground.  Soon a gentle wind picked up, making her shiver. She quickly forgot about the chill because the towers had begun to sing.

“How?” she breathed after a few minutes of listening to the haunting sound.

“Do you really want to know? It might ruin it.”

She laughed. “You know I hate not knowing things.”

“Caves. The wind passes through the cave system and harmonise the cave’s crystal layer.” His voice sounded strange and she looked at him.

He was staring out at the towers, but in the dim light she could see that he had tears on his face. She reached over and lightly touched a fingertip to one. He jumped at the contact.

“I didn't know you could be so moved by nature still. Now I know why you resisted coming here. Don't worry, your secret is safe.” It was a foolish lie, but she knew he wouldn't tell her what was really wrong.

“River, tomorrow is sunrise.”

“Ah, I see. Our little vacation is over. Well, we always knew we would have to get back to our regular lives.” She didn't add the question she desperately wanted to ask: they'd see each other again, right?

He pulled a box out of his jacket and she opened it. Inside was a sonic screwdriver. “For you.”

Her heart began to race. “You're giving me a sonic? You never give these to anyone.” 

 “You're not just anyone.” He took it out and did some scan on her. “It's brand new and from now on it will only work for you.”

She took the sonic and stared at him for a long moment. He had shut down, and she knew it was more than having to leave Darillium.

“Doctor?”

“Yes, River?”

She turned away and fought the urge to cry. “Spoilers?”

“Spoilers.”

 

 

They spent the night in the TARDIS. It seemed to River that the Doctor wanted to memorise everything about her. She definitely didn’t mind, but after what happened at the Towers she just couldn’t give herself over to it completely. A tiny part of her was worried...no, knew, that this was probably the last time she would be with her husband this way.

 

 

When they got back to the house in the morning Jack was in the kitchen helping himself to the food. He smirked at them when they walked in the back door. The Doctor hurried upstairs to begin packing.

“Good date?” Jack asked with a smirk.

“No,” River told him honestly.

“What happened?”

“Never mind.” She didn’t want to tell him. She didn’t want to discuss it because then the theories that were forming in her mind would be addressed. They might become fully formed and she wasn’t sure that she could take it.

“All right. Do you want to finish your story?” Jack asked carefully.

“What’s left to say?”

“Obviously you two got past your initial disagreement. So why aren’t there any little Doctors or Rivers running around?”

 

 

o.O.o

River paced back and forth as she waited for the Doctor to get home. He was due back any minute.

Due. Just the word made River shiver.

 

The door opened and he entered the living room and gave her a big grin. “River! Guess what I did? You know that store in town? The--”

“Sweetie? We need to talk. Now.”

He placed his jacket on the coat rack and turned to her. “What is it?”

River opened her mouth, closed it, and took a deep breath. “I think… Well, Doctor, I think I might be pregnant.”

He slowly approached her. “Are you sure?”

She shook her head. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her legs felt weak. The vague nausea that had been occurring off and on grew stronger. “I have some symptoms.”

“I see. A baby's a good thing, though, right?” He smiled and placed his hand on her abdomen. “A Time Tot. There hasn't been one of those in a very long time.”

She pushed his hand away. “No, a baby is not a good thing! Doctor, this is very bad.”

 

Sitting down on the sofa, she curled up. He sat next to her. “Why?”

He actually sounded hurt, and she couldn't understand why. Didn't he understand the danger? “I was kidnapped before I was even born because I was the child of your best friends. They took me and turned me into an assassin. A psychopath! Kovarian is still out there. What do you think she would do to a child of ours?”

Just the thought of the monster of her childhood taking their baby and doing the things to it that had been done to her made her sick.

It also filled her with a fierce protectiveness that scared her.

“River, listen to me. You know what I'm capable of. What do you think I would do if someone tried to hurt my child?”

She stared into his eyes and saw the truth.

He would lay waste to the universe.

“I know, Sweetie. That's part of why it can't happen. You can't… I won't let you become that. No, Doctor, I can't have a baby. I won't.”

He got up and she could tell that he was upset. It wasn't anger. Instead, it was a kind of melancholy that she rarely saw.

“Well then, I guess you'd better scan yourself to find out.”

She picked up her scanner from the table. “I was waiting for you. I thought it was something we should do together.”

He nodded and she scanned herself. Relief overwhelmed her. “Negative.”

He hung his head and scratched the back of his head. “ Good.”

“I'm sorry, Doctor,” she told him honestly. It wasn't fair that their attempt at a normal life couldn't have that most basic aspect.

o.O.o

 

 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? I’d be a horrid mother anyway.”

“Bullshit.”

River didn’t want to argue. Instead she made some breakfast and sat down with her tablet.

Jack ate for a few moments before interrupting her. “What’s that?”

“A job. Strackman Lux wants me to lead an expedition to the Library.”

“The Library?” His tone was a little off, as though he were worried.

“Yes. Why?”

“I always wanted to go. Can I join you?”

River raised her eyebrows. “You want to go on an archaeological expedition to a library?”

Jack’s shrug was a little too casual as he took his last bite of pastry. “Why not?”

 

“Why not what?” the Doctor asked coming into the kitchen. He was carrying a small bag that she knew was bigger on the inside.

“Jack wants to accompany me on my expedition.” The Doctor was with her when she had checked her messages and knew all about it.

“Well, why not?” the Doctor asked.

“It’s ridiculous. He’s not even an archaeologist!” she protested.

“So? Wouldn’t it be nice to have your best friend with you though? Besides, he’s--” the Doctor waved his hand vaguely. “--the way he is. He knows history.”

Jack crossed his arms and nodded, a victory smile on his face. “See?”

River sighed, too tired and overwhelmed to argue. “Fine. You can come with me.”


	11. Chapter 11

Since Darillium, in the back of her mind River had suspected that the end was coming. She and the Doctor’s timelines had been travelling in the same direction for over a hundred years. It meant the day that River had been dreading since Berlin was drawing closer. The day that she would run into a version of the Doctor who was so young that he didn’t know who she was.

That day finally came.

The expedition to the Library was supposed to be fun. An easy way to get back to normal after being on Darillium for 24 years. Instead it was a nightmare. The library was inhabited by the deadly Vashta Nerada, people were dying, the 4022 original inhabitants of the Library were missing, and she met the Tenth incarnation of her husband.

A man who not only looked different from what she knew but had never even heard of her.

She had been forced to suppress the despair and focus on getting everybody out of the danger. Yet, as every member of her expedition died except for Jack, it came to the surface.

The Doctor realized that the 4022 people—now including Donna Noble, the Tenth doctor’s companion—were trapped in the Library mainframe. In order to release them the computer needed more memory, and he was volunteering his brain. The procedure would kill him.

If that happened he would never regenerate into the Eleventh Doctor, never meet Amy. River would never be conceived aboard the TARDIS, and she would never eventually marry the Doctor.

She couldn’t let that happen.

So she and Jack accompanied the Doctor to the location of the computer’s mainframe. As soon as she could she knocked the Doctor out and prepared to hook her own brain up to the computer. She didn’t even mind. It was better than living the rest of her life without the Doctor.

 

 

River handcuffed the unconscious Doctor to the pole and kicked his sonic screwdriver out of the way. “Help me,” River ordered Jack as she went over to the machine to get it ready.

“You’re really going to do this,” Jack stated.

“To my Doctor, I already have.” Her hands seemed on autopilot as she spoke. “All this time he knew this would happen. That’s why he gave me his sonic. That’s why he delayed Darillium so long.” She choked back tears. “That’s why he did 24 years.” She picked up the halo that would connect her brain to the computer. “It was all coming to this. My last, his first. I was right. He never loved me. He was just following what was supposed to happen. Preserving the timeline. You can’t change history.”

She prepared to put the halo on when Jack pushed her out of the way, taking the halo from her. She tried to fight him, but he pulled her next to the Doctor and cuffed her to the same pole.

“What are you doing?” she cried.

“Changing history.”

Dread filled her. “No. You can’t!”

“Why do you think I visited you on Darillium? He found me in a bar there. He asked me to visit. He asked me to do this.” He placed the halo on his head and made a few adjustments. “He loves you, River. Truly. I won’t let anyone take that from him.”

 

He connected the two cables,and she saw a bright light and sparks. It seemed to last forever, though could only have been minutes. When the smoke cleared,a pile of ashes rested where Jack had once been. She stared at them in shock before jumping into action. The Vashta Nerada was still a threat. Using her feet, she grabbed her sonic and got out of the cuffs.

 

When she approached the place where Jack had been the ashes began to gather together into larger pieces. River carefully and painstakingly collected them into a baggie. Behind her, the Doctor began to stir. She made sure that he would be able to get free, and then left before he saw her.

Jack’s sacrifice worked. All 4,022 people who had been saved were released. She saw Donna looking frantic and then reunite with a subdued Doctor.Riverwanted to let him know she was okay but couldn’t. The timeline must remain unchanged, and the pouch was getting heavy, sosheleft the Library.

 

 

She took Jack to a deserted planet where he could “regenerate” away from others. It was an experience she never wanted to go through again. His screams of horror and pain were so loud she was glad the planet was deserted. Soon, she realized there was nothing she could do for him except be there. After all, it was her fault that he was going through this.

The screams faded into moans, the moans into whimpers, and then there was silence. River checked on him and saw that he seemed to be asleep rather than unconscious. Setting some food and a glass of water next to him, she felt it was safe to go down to the beach.

 

 

“This is a beautiful place,” Jack said a few hours later, joining her.

“Why did you do it? You put yourself through hell for me. I brought you here in a bag. How?”

“I told you I’m a fixed point. I’m immortal. I literally come back no matter what is done to me. As for why… I told you. The Doctor loves you. He truly, deeply does. I won’t let anybody take that from him, even you.”

“He doesn’t—“

“Did you even listen to your stories? Family dinners, fights, using his regeneration energy to heal you, spending 24 years in one spot, domesticated? And most importantly, coming back over and over. Who else in the universe, in all of time and space, has he done that for? River, he changed time for you! He couldn’t stand the thought of going through the rest of his life without you.”

“Well, I did break it for him,” she muttered.

“Then I’d say you’re perfect together. The rest of us should watch out.”

River paused and looked at him. “You love him,too, don’t you?”

Jack shrugged. “You know me, I love everybody.”

“Jack…”

“Does it matter? He made his choice.” After a few moments Jack continued, “He’s waiting for you on Darillium.”

River stood and took a few steps away. “If this was the plan all along then why have me tell you everything? Why not just show up at the Library?”

“I’m your friend, River. I could tell you were unhappy and wanted to know why.”

River nodded.

“Do you believe me now? Do you believe that he loves you back?”

She didn’t answer his question. Instead she gave him a hug and said goodbye.

 

 

The Doctor was waiting at their house. The TARDIS was out front, and when she materialized in the living room she found him.

“River?” he asked, shock and relief warring on his features.

The tears that had been threatening escaped. They fell silently down her cheeks as she approached him. She reached out and slapped him.

“You didn’t tell me! You let me think that I was going to die!”

“I had to. You had to choose to save me. I had to preserve the timeline.”

“But you didn’t. I’m here.”

“My timeline,” he emphasized. “He-I-will think you’re dead. But you’ll always be in the backofmy mind. Who was that woman who knew everything about me? Your younger self will still meet my younger self. Everything will be preserved because our timelines are, from this moment on, perfectly in sync.”

“Your first, my last,” she whispered.

“Not anymore. Just like my first kiss with you wasn’t your last with me.”

She nodded, reality finally beginning to sink in.

“Will you come with me now? All the time?” he asked.

“Yes, Sweetie, whenever and wherever you want.”


End file.
